Five Learned Scholars
One Two One, two, three, four G Five learned scholars C G were each paid a dollar E7 A7 D7 to see if they could find out something new G but they met with some resistance C A7 for accordin' to the distance G D7/A D7 G they noticed things got smaller or they grew G A ship far out at sea C G looked no bigger than a flea E7 A7 D7 relatively speaking of its size G so they thought it more effective C A7 to eliminate perspective G D7/A D7 G as all they had to do was close their eyes G Having thus removed illusion C G they were thrown into confusion E7 A7 D7 for they found the darkness painful to their shins G so it met with their approval C A7 to order the removal G D7/A D7 G of everything from elephants to pins (Instr: G C G E7 A7 D7 G G7 C A7 G D7/A D7 G) G A passion in them burned C G they left no worm unturned E7 they flattened all the bumps to fill in A7 D7 holes G and from Leicester to East Anglia C A7 made continents rectangular G D7/A D7 G and evenly distributed the poles G But still it was no use C G from their sponsors came abuse E7 A7 D7 along with threats of "not a penny more!" G so in exasperation C A7 they proclaimed imagination G D7/A D7 G the novelty they'd all been searching for (Instr: G C G E7 A7 D7 G G7 C A7 G D7/A D7 G) G The five of them sat drinkin' C G all alone amongst their thinkin' E7 A7 D7 but of the gab sadly each still had the gift G and so with each uncorkin' C A7 the wine did all the talkin' G D7/A D7 and as each one held forth, each one came G fifth G And long into the night C G they argued wrong and right E7 'til death itself called out "last orders A7 D7 please," G so the five learned scholars C A7 sang a song for five dollars G D7/A D7 G and left this life upon their hands and knees. (Instr: G C G E7 A7 D7 G G7 C A7 G D7/A D7 G) (G D7 G D7 G D7 G) _